Snowie’s Soliloquy’s 11 February 2016
Hello Peepth, I’m Snow – tho it theems mostly lately that theeth peeps here call me Bunny or Honey Bunny or Funny Bunny. What-th with that? They think coz I’m really tiny, and really fluffy and my tongue thticks out coz I’ve got no teefs left – that I’m a real cutie. Pftth – Cutie – my fluffy little patootie! I could show them a trick or two – but you know what – it’s workin for me. I can eat from whoever’s dinner I want, I get fed my treats in bed, they ca…rry me out to the toilet – and then back in again, I’ve got free run of the place, I get to sit in the front seat when we go out – and when we go out on walks – I have a special bag they carry me in – an old gal of my diminutive stature can’t be walking about willy nilly – wastin’ me energies – it’s a precious resource these days.
What I wanna know is – where’th me penshun cheques goin to, ay? I have it on very good o-tho-ri-tie that The Dog Muvver is spendin’ it all on al-co-hol – yep – your sham-pag-née, she-razz and Reez-Lin!
As if that ain’t enuff – she took me to work for free days – a while back – she says it was th-ree days – but hey – I still don’t got paid yet!!
Free labour – worked me like a dog. I was so dog-gone tired at the end of the day that I had to go straight to bed when I got home without any thupper.
I had to meed-ee-ate at Managers Meetings by barking (apparently in a very cute fashion) and they had me filling in forms and doing training shotth and promo shotth to advertise stuff – and – train their staffs.
Hull-oo though!! Where’th my darn pay-check?? I ask them all the time and they just smile and cuddle me and pat me – and say – “You’re so cute, Bunny!”
Humph – we’ll see how cute they think I am when I get in my Industrial Lawyer and the Union Bloke.
In the meantime – they’re bringing my yoghurt drop treatth, they’ve got my milky thticks treats ready for later and they’ve cut my thpecial meat up – just the way I like it – tho check out this “cute-ness” I put on for them! Tell you what though – it-th tiring work looking thith cute all th’ time – I think I need a good lie down and a long dog nap now. Later I’ll go out and thit in the thun for a bit – I’m on rec-re-ayshun-al leave right now.
I think th’ Dog Muvvers run out of alci-hol coz sheeth not drinkin’ at minit – but if she trieth to make me go back to work – I’ll be demandin a pay rith for sure!
Thee-ya lata Peepth💕