BJ’s Blurts 12 February 2016
Uh Hullo Ya’ All, BJ Blurty Bot here. Pah says I gotta tell ya’ all a bit about me. I don’ know much really – only what Pah tells me. Pah says I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed – but I’m rool pretty – for a boy dog.
Pah says I can be his Dep-u-tee for doin works on the farm here at Hope Springs. I can’t be th Sup-ee-vize-a but, – coz I just ain’t dang smart enuff – Pah says.
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Pah says I got a problem wif ma’ butt – Pah says I got Farty Pants and Blurty Bot.
One time me and Pah – were out huntin’ we don’ roolly catch nuttin’ but we shore like hidin’ an’ watch in’ thems am’nals. Pah says it’s also a good way ta’ hide from them wim-min who wants ta make ya’ do gard’nin and sturff.
Any-hoo we’d be hidin – an’ watchin thems am’nals and mah Blurty Bot wen’ off. Ppppthhhhthth – it wen. All them am’nals just wrinkled up them noses – screwed up them eyes – an’ hightailed it – like that smell were gonna strike ’em down – dedder’n a dodo!
Pah done looked at me and sed: BJ Farty Pants – you’re kill in’ me boy!!
I says: Hur-hur, I’m rool saw-ry Pah!
After that me and Pah went and ‘ad raz-bry jam on toast for brek-fust. Ah, just lur-ves raz-Bry jam an’ toast. It’s wun a my all-time fav-rit fings. I tried peanut butter couple times but it sturck to ma tongue and to ma teefs and to the toppa me mouth. Sometimes, when people come visit in’ or we have them Grandkids stay – we ave pancakes wid jam an cream. I roolly roolly like dat. Ya wanna come visit so I can get me some more-a dat?
Annuver wun a my fav- rit fings is pee-in on fings – Pah says. Anyfin I ‘ain seen afore – ah pee on it! Yep, for sure!
Pah says ‘Ahm a bitofa chick magnet. All the gel dogs what come here loves me – Ah don’ know why?!? Pah says itsa coz I’m a Himbo – but ah dunno what that meanz. Anyhoo, I try ma best to ignore ’em but if they don’ get tha’ hint – I might have ta pee on ’em!
Pah says I got me some issues – I dunno what that means – but Pah says he and Dog Muvver lubs me – an’ I know what that means.
Anyhoo – me an Pah got stuff ta do – so I gotta go – I fink we might be goin’ fishin – I hope they got raz-Bry jam and pancakes wiv cream at fishin!
See ya’ll later – Lub BJ🐾