{"id":483,"date":"2016-04-26T22:23:29","date_gmt":"2016-04-26T12:53:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hsedr.org.au\/?page_id=483"},"modified":"2016-04-27T15:52:19","modified_gmt":"2016-04-27T06:22:19","slug":"bj-farty-pants-scotty-th-fat-man-miss-scarlet-charlotte-and-the-incident-13-april-2016","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/hsedr.org.au\/index.php\/about-us\/hope-springs-gang-gazettes\/bjs-blurts\/bj-farty-pants-scotty-th-fat-man-miss-scarlet-charlotte-and-the-incident-13-april-2016\/","title":{"rendered":"BJ Farty Pants, Scotty Th’ Fat Man, Miss Scarlet Charlotte, – and – The Incident 13 April 2016"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Hi Ya’All, I ‘aint writ nuttin for a good long while coz’ I bin hidin’ out. Pah sezs I caint hide out forever but – and ah jus needa get it off’n ma chest – an move on, like!<\/div>\n
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Okay then, here goes – Ah do so hope Pah is right!<\/div>\n
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Ennyways, this story goes back ‘ta ‘las year when we had Scotty an Charlotte stayin ‘ere.<\/div>\n
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\"20151105_233856000_iOS\"<\/div>\n
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Scotty hadta go off’n to th Vet place for th’ day an ‘ave x-rays – an Miss Charlotte hadta stay ‘ome.<\/div>\n
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We-ell, lets\u00a0 jus\u00a0 say she don’ get along too well wivout Scotty lookin out for her. No sooner , was he gone than she started cryin and carryin on an cosyin up ta me, like. Ah sure as hell-o din’ know what ta do ’bout dat. Ah dun me best ta comfort th’ liddle woo-man an jus tried to keep ma distance – a man caint go cuttin annuvver man’s hay, y’know?<\/div>\n
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Anyhoo, the Fat-Man came home enda day wiv da Dog Muvver in tow an he was not a happy cus-to-mer! Im jus gessin he din ‘ave a good day!<\/div>\n
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Miss Charlotte tries to get all up close an pers’nal wiv im and go all cozy cozy, smoochy smoochy – an doggone it if he din go and get all growly wiv er and tell her to take a hike, Honey!<\/div>\n
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\"BJ<\/div>\n
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Ah mighta forgit ta menshun that these two were like “peas an carrits” to borra a phrase from me fren, For-res! They was always togevva an they ‘ad a mari-tal bed they slep in togevver (which was right nexta mine).<\/div>\n
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So-s – we goes ta bed this night – and Pickle me Gran-Mother – Charlotte (the Harlot) gets outa the mari-tal bed – an gets in bed wiv me!<\/div>\n
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Now, there’s a cuppla fings wrong with this sceen-ar-ee-oh! I don’ roolly know what ta do wiv wim-min\u00a0 an Ah’m a big\u00a0 ‘ol fraidy cat when it come\u00a0 to poh-ten-shul prob-lems wiv annuvver dude!<\/div>\n
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Lucky fer me – an Miss Charlotte – The Scotts-man is a peace-able kinda guy – an he don’ like no con-flick neither – matter fack Ah think he woz kinda happy ‘ta ave imself a bitta space to stretch out.<\/div>\n
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Woo Hoo and Jiminy Crickets though – ah sure was worried – coz that’s what ah do – worry.<\/div>\n
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It’s prolly a roolly good thing that Mr Scotts-man an Miss Charlotte wen off ta live happily eva after with Jo an Andrew an their whole fam’ly.<\/div>\n
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Ah don’ know why – but it seems like all the wim-min do loves me. Pah says its coz Ahm a pritty boy – do ya all think ah should be worried ’bout ‘dat? Bein Purdy Like?<\/div>\n
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\"Pritty<\/div>\n
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Hi Ya’All, I ‘aint writ nuttin for a good long while coz’ I bin hidin’ out. Pah sezs I caint hide out forever but – and ah jus needa get it off’n ma chest – an move on, like! Okay then, here goes – Ah do so hope Pah is right! Ennyways, this story goes back ‘ta ‘las year when we had Scotty an Charlotte stayin ‘ere. Scotty hadta go off’n to th Vet place…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"parent":472,"menu_order":2,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hsedr.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/483"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hsedr.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hsedr.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hsedr.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hsedr.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=483"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/hsedr.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/483\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":545,"href":"https:\/\/hsedr.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/483\/revisions\/545"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hsedr.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/472"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hsedr.org.au\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=483"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}